Augustus Becomes Emperor
Caesar's quiet 18-year-old nephew somehow outplays everyone, ends 100 years of civil war, and quietly turns Rome into an empire.
0 Varus Loses the Legions
Three Roman legions get ambushed in a German forest and wiped out. Augustus reportedly walks the palace banging his head, yelling 'Varus, give me back my legions!'
0 Tiberius on Capri
The emperor gets bored of Rome, moves to a private island, and lets his henchmen run the city. Things get extremely weird.
0 Caligula Goes Mad
He starts strong, gets a fever, and emerges convinced he's a god. Tries to make his horse a senator. Lasts three years before the guards stab him.
0 Claudius the Unlikely Emperor
Everyone thought the limping, stuttering uncle was harmless. Then the guards drag him from behind a curtain and crown him by accident. He's actually pretty good at it.
0 Boudicca's Revolt
A British queen leads 100,000 furious Celts and burns three Roman cities to the ground. Almost kicks Rome out of Britain entirely.
0 Nero Burns Rome
Half the city goes up in flames. Nero allegedly plays music while it burns, then blames Christians and starts the world's first crusade against them.
0 The Year of the Four Emperors
In 12 months, Rome cycles through four emperors. Three are murdered. The fourth, Vespasian, finally just shows up with an army and ends it.
0 The Destruction of Jerusalem
Vespasian's son Titus levels the Temple after a brutal siege. The Jewish diaspora begins. Rome builds an arch to brag about it.
0 Pompeii Destroyed
Mount Vesuvius erupts and buries an entire Roman city under 20 feet of ash in hours. We can still see the people frozen mid-step.
0 Trajan Builds the Empire
Rome hits its biggest size ever under a Spanish-born emperor who actually likes the people. Builds a column so tall you need binoculars to see the top.
0 Hadrian's Wall
Rome decides Britain north of a certain line is just not worth it and builds a 73-mile wall to keep the Picts out. Still standing.
0 Marcus Aurelius, Philosopher King
A Roman emperor writes a private journal about being a better person while fighting a 14-year war on the frontier. Still a bestseller.
0 Commodus the Gladiator Emperor
Marcus Aurelius's son thinks he's Hercules and fights in the Colosseum himself. His mistress and his trainer eventually strangle him in the bath.
0 The Crisis of the Third Century
50 years, 26 emperors, plague, hyperinflation, barbarian invasions, and the empire splits into three. Rome should not have survived this.
0 Constantine Converts
Before a battle he sees a cross in the sky and a voice says 'in this sign, conquer.' He wins, and Christianity goes from persecuted cult to imperial religion.
0 The Council of Nicaea
Constantine locks 300 bishops in a room until they agree on what Christians actually believe. The result still gets recited in churches today.
0 Julian the Apostate
An emperor tries to undo Constantine's revolution and bring back the old gods. Lasts 20 months before dying in battle in Persia.
0 The Sack of Rome
The Visigoths walk into the Eternal City and loot it for three days. Rome hadn't been taken in 800 years. The world is in shock.
0 Attila the Hun
Sweeps out of the steppe and terrorizes both halves of the Roman empire. Dies on his wedding night from a nosebleed. Anticlimactic.
0 The Fall of Rome
A Germanic warlord politely deposes the last Roman emperor, a teenager named Romulus. 1,200 years end with a whimper.
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